THE GUY FOR YOU ISN’T ON FACEBOOK.

Facebook is just words on a screen. If you hit the right button, it will go black. But your life will remain full of colour, sound, scent, sight in many dimensions. Many of the people on Facebook don’t even exist, though they say they do.
Words on a screen cannot meet your need for friendship, love and affection. Not even if they buy a ticket and fly in to freeload at your house for as long as you’ll have them, using your credit card till their ship (or their cheque in the mail), comes in, needing a loan from you to buy a car, while meanwhile privately texting all the other possibles, once the free you runs out.
While all this seems obvious, a large enough percentage turn up on Judge Judy to make it clear that all over the country, people are mistaking Facebook for some geni that will magic them to happiness. When the way to happiness is already perfectly clear:
1) Turn off the computer and go down to the municipal fitness centre. 2) Talk to people. If there isn’t such a place close enough at hand subsitute somewhere where people of ALL ages (this is VERY important), get together ostensibly to talk but actually to hang out. I know a DONUT shop where they have a communal table which does just fine. A casual group of lonely coffee drinkers who come every day. I’ve got one only a couple blocks away. Maybe a convenience store with the coffee pot on and chairs. Somewhere you can go and talk to people every single solitary day.
3) The ‘everyday’ part is a dealbreaker. You’ve got to go every day. AA works like this. But there are other places if you have a hard time drinking to excess. Casual, informal places.
4) List of where you could go: Sometimes its a shop, in small towns, a cafe where everyone has breakfast. You don’t have to eat much, you just have to hang out. Find out where everyone hangs out and GO there every single morning. In the afternoon you can take 3 chairs, sit outside your house or apartment building or wherever you sleep and wait for someone to come along and sit in the other two chairs. You can do this in the afternoon but sometime in the morning you need to hang out with a larger group.
5) Hanging out and learning to talk to people in these groups will solve all your problems. Facebook won’t. Facebook can’.t
6) Erasmus said: ‘Be patient and tough. Someday this pain will be USEFUL to you.’ Prove him right. Go every day. Give the universe a chance to take a crack at you. Meditate on this. Stir up your brain.
7) Give up trying to find guys for you online. They aren’t on the screen. They’re right around the corner where you and your skin actually live. Remember that scented, musical, tactile world with the flowers in spring, breezes in summer, leaves in the fall and snow in winter? That world? Go hang out daily with enough folks that when you miss a day, someone asks, ‘where IS she? Do you suppose she’s okay?’ Force yourself. It isn’t easy at first. Heck, it’s NEVER easy but you gotta do it, whenever you’re tempted to try to find a guy on the screen. Get those shoes on and get OUT there.
But first turn off the computer.